If you've spent more than a few minutes worrying about swine flu, you are an idiot. That's because it doesn't take a few minutes for you to look up the mortality rate, symptoms and treatment to realise that it doesn't have any difference than a normal flu. For those of you who are not convinced that swine flu is bullshit, here's a list of symptoms of swine flu vs a normal flu :-
See no difference? Because there isn't any, Assholes. Stop worrying about it.
When the pandemic was still hot (thanks to the media who knows dickward about swine flu) The Ministry of Health made every god damn schools, universities in this country to have unnecessary temperature check before you can walk your sorry ass to your registration class. Nobody gives a fuck! Certainly I didn't. Why worry? Cowards worry and there is a 100% overlap between people who worry and people who occasionally make cowardly decisions. Stop being a scared pussy all the time. You'll cross the bridge of death when you get to it. Stop being a cow. Live your life! People were dying for the vaccine when it first spread; rendering this non-issue even more irrelevant. Who gives a fuck about the vaccine if you have immune system. I have never gotten sick in my life. My immune system is so strong that I have to get a heart disease just to be normal.
I just torn a local newspaper for still putting up the "H1N1 status" eventhough the number of cases says zero.
And I thought I was a dick.
Bitchy pompous 13-year old cousin: But General Dickward (that's me), What about the 12-year old girl who died from swine flu? If we don't have to worry about swine flu, why did she die in the first place?
Here's what it reads : first death for the Influenza A H1N1 of a 12-year old girl on Thursday, 2 July 2009. The deceased, who has been critically ill since 26 June 2009, was suffering from Auto-Immune Hepatitis, End-stage liver failure and Pneumonia. Lab tests conducted on Thursday morning showed that she was also tested positive for Influenza A H1N1.
It warms my heart when my 13-year old cousin actually pointed this out while she giggled and put her hands up her mouth, as if to say "oops! im cute". No bitch, you're not cute. Stop being a pretentious bitch. I don't know what they teach kids in school nowadays but you're certainly stupid. First of all, the deceased was :-
1) Critically ill.
2) Suffering from auto-immune hepatitis. (I suppose this caused the liver failure).
3) Suffering from pneunomia. (means she's been infected with bacteria, fungi and all sorts of microscopic shits that would cause you to look as old as your grandmother).
Didn't it ever occur to your little innocent mind that she might've died from these other serious disease? No? Damn-fuckin right.
Hopeless kid : General Dickward, what should I be worrying about if cases like swine flu isn't a big deal anymore?
Here are a list of things that are a higher priority to worry about :-
1) Dying alone
2) Caught masturbating
3) Settling for a shitty job
4) arranged marriage ( or getting married)
Just to be clear, not getting married isn't a problem, getting married is. Most people, due to fears of dying alone, will marry some jackass because they think nothing better will come along. They're usually right. But even if you find someone who isn't a total cock, marrying them will ruin everything because marriage is a false institution, and a waste of time and money. Cancel that big wedding party and buy a house, dipshits! Nobody wants to go to wedding parties. Besides, big gatherings lend themselves to communicable diseases. Holy shit that was a sweet transition.
(5,678,900 swine flu victims want to kill me.)
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