(Important: Read Out Loud)
English Phrase / Chinese Translation
1. "That's not right"............... Sum Ting Wong
2. "Are you harboring a fugitive?".. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3. "See me ASAP".................... Kum Hia Nao
4. "There goes Stupid Man".......... Dum Dum Wa King
5. "Small Horse".................... Tai Ni Po Ni
6. "Did you go to the beach?"....... Wai Yu So Tan
7. "I bumped into a coffee table"... Ai Bang Mai Ni
8. "I think you need a face lift"... Chin Tu Fat
9. "It's very dark in here"......... Wao So Dim
10. "I thought you were on a diet".. Wai Yu Mun Ching
11. "This is a tow away zone"....... No Pah King
12. "Our meeting is next week"...... Wai Yu Kum Nao
13. "Staying out of sight!"......... Lei Ying Lo
14. "He's cleaning his automobile".. Wa Shing Ka
15. "Your body odor is offensive"... Yu Stin Ki Pu
16. "Great"......................... Su Pah
17. "Old Man"....................... Dum Fa ke
18. "But this isn't my husband"..... Wong Fu King Dong
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
7 creepiest children's book ever published.
The title says it all-- Who cares about disabled people?
Unfortunately the answer to that question is 99% disturbing. But fortunately, it saves parents from having to explain to the kids how they were brought into this world.
That's what she said...?
We're in no way saying having gay uncles is creepy, but this book cover showing two grown men hovering over an androgynous child with creepy smiles definitely sends the wrong message.
Granted, they probably mean "gay" as in "happy." But the goat's horn up the ass and creepy uncle Sam the farmer looking on approvingly? Something not so "happy" is going on.
Wow.
America : One nation indivisible, indeed.
Friday, March 26, 2010
You're racist.
I was reading an article online owned by a local newspaper stating we should employ more locals instead of hiring foreigners to wash our own asses or clean our plates. He decided to use his 'friend' as a subject of choice, saying his 'friend' is 'experienced' in nursing and yet he is jumping from one job to another because foreigners are filling in the slots.
My bullshit detector went off, so I decided to write this article on why the person who wrote that article is Jim Crow's entourage. Saying we shouldn't employ foreigners and giving them the equal rights as locals is like saying a person trapped in a well shouldn't be saved because he shouldn't have been playing around the well in the first place.
Dumbass article writer also stated a few more bullshit :
"Where does this leave our young unemployed locals?"
"Many of the foreigners here can't even speak malay despite the fact the majority of the people they serve are locals."
"They serve drinks and provide hospitality to new visitors as "the face of this country" when it is very clear to any of us that they are not from here at all."
To summarise all his bullshit and compile it into one big whole shit fest, he meant to say these foreigners are coming to our country and taking our jobs. What?
News flash :
You're racist.
Foreigners aren't taking anything away from locals. Private companies are giving them jobs legally. If private companies decide to hire foreigners to do the job over locals then there's probably a good reason for it. I'm sick and tired of lazy gluttonous locals bitching about foreigners taking our jobs. It's not like they can literally come here, ambush us and take our jobs.
If you lose a job opportunity to a foreigner, then maybe he or she is willing to work harder for less money. Don't want to pay them for full wages? then don't hire them. I'm not going to sit back like every other racist piece of shit because of a little competition for their jobs. If a foreigner thinks he can do a better job than you can, then welcome him to try. What kind of a pussy chicken is afraid of competition? Can't get a job because you lost to a foreigner? then tough shit. It doesn't matter if they can't speak our language. They can speak any shit language they want to the customers, they can lay a full tamil or filipino accent on them as long as they get the job done. Not some half-assed insincere work like most of you local lazy bastards would.
Simple shit : If you can't cut it, then the people with money would pay it to someone else who can. Maybe if all you people bitching weren't such lazy, pathetic, blood-sucking leeches, you'd get off your ass and work harder. If you're too chicken shit and you can't cut it, then maybe you don't deserve to live here.
My bullshit detector went off, so I decided to write this article on why the person who wrote that article is Jim Crow's entourage. Saying we shouldn't employ foreigners and giving them the equal rights as locals is like saying a person trapped in a well shouldn't be saved because he shouldn't have been playing around the well in the first place.
Dumbass article writer also stated a few more bullshit :
"Where does this leave our young unemployed locals?"
"Many of the foreigners here can't even speak malay despite the fact the majority of the people they serve are locals."
"They serve drinks and provide hospitality to new visitors as "the face of this country" when it is very clear to any of us that they are not from here at all."
To summarise all his bullshit and compile it into one big whole shit fest, he meant to say these foreigners are coming to our country and taking our jobs. What?
News flash :
You're racist.Foreigners aren't taking anything away from locals. Private companies are giving them jobs legally. If private companies decide to hire foreigners to do the job over locals then there's probably a good reason for it. I'm sick and tired of lazy gluttonous locals bitching about foreigners taking our jobs. It's not like they can literally come here, ambush us and take our jobs.
If you lose a job opportunity to a foreigner, then maybe he or she is willing to work harder for less money. Don't want to pay them for full wages? then don't hire them. I'm not going to sit back like every other racist piece of shit because of a little competition for their jobs. If a foreigner thinks he can do a better job than you can, then welcome him to try. What kind of a pussy chicken is afraid of competition? Can't get a job because you lost to a foreigner? then tough shit. It doesn't matter if they can't speak our language. They can speak any shit language they want to the customers, they can lay a full tamil or filipino accent on them as long as they get the job done. Not some half-assed insincere work like most of you local lazy bastards would.
Simple shit : If you can't cut it, then the people with money would pay it to someone else who can. Maybe if all you people bitching weren't such lazy, pathetic, blood-sucking leeches, you'd get off your ass and work harder. If you're too chicken shit and you can't cut it, then maybe you don't deserve to live here.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Oh no! Douche alert!
Does wearing shades indoor mean everyone should gather their dumbasses and start looking at you in an awe manner? Apparently not. Nothing screams 'douchebag' like wearing shades indoor. I was at Coffee Bean yesterday, minding my own damn business when my idiot barometer came ringing and some dipshit came in wearing a shade that managed to cover 3-quarter of his face. Frankly, there are a few people who look good wearing shades; they juggle for a living or they're blind.
What boggles my mind about shades is that its becoming trendy, right up there with Castro hats. Why? I don't get it. I'm sure everyone else ( including your parents) that doesn't share your trend thinks you're blind and you have a giant vagina on your face. It sounds hotter on paper than it is. I'm sure a man invented this style, because its damn near impossible to think of a combination of heads and vaginas that isn't rad. People who wear shades go on and on about how comfortable and confident they are and how it's supposedly make you look more attractive. Great point, dipshits! You know what else that comes by? You NOT getting laid. What's the mentality of these people? If you're too insecure about your face being boring you might as well grow some facial hair to cover those distinctive pimples on your mid-puberty faces.
Please, cut it out, assholes. Take it off and go wank in public.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Nobody cares that you ate a sandwich, really.
Twitter is ruining the internet. Twitter is a free social networking and microblogging service where people who aren't important can pretend to be by writing to their imaginary audience, to send and read messages known as tweets. Girls are notorious for keeping these. On a typical site, you'll find a 17 year old girl with hundreds of links to their photos and about 5 gigs worth of text documenting everytime they took a shit, had an epiphany for taking a shit or ate something.
Here is an actual quote I happened across today : " I had the best tuna sandwich everrr! It was so great. Then I took a nap, which wasn't as great as I thought it would, my brother was being a little brat!"
So the question is : Does anybody in the universe cares about Ms. X had the best tuna sandwich? or that she took a nap which wasn't so great? I don't. Which was why I promptly deleted my cookies and history files and stopped breathing for a few seconds. The whole page goes on about how she's tired, links to her photos, links to her favourite videos etc etc etc. I can't remember the last time I need some painkillers.
Here is an actual quote I happened across today : " I had the best tuna sandwich everrr! It was so great. Then I took a nap, which wasn't as great as I thought it would, my brother was being a little brat!"
So the question is : Does anybody in the universe cares about Ms. X had the best tuna sandwich? or that she took a nap which wasn't so great? I don't. Which was why I promptly deleted my cookies and history files and stopped breathing for a few seconds. The whole page goes on about how she's tired, links to her photos, links to her favourite videos etc etc etc. I can't remember the last time I need some painkillers.
Monday, February 22, 2010
5 craziest shit morons did that we can learn from
When you think watching survival techniques on tv could actually save your life in life-threatening situations then you're a moron. We've all learn from people's mistake when we watch tv shows like Discovery channel or America's most amazing videos and we've got a good logical head on our shoulders. You should be just fine, right?
But that's like thinking you'll be good in a fight because you've watched that Ip man movie; whatever "techniques" you think you've learned are more likely to get your dumb ass killed.
Here's a couple of typical techniques we were told to do that morons actually followed :-
moron #1 In case of lightning, lie down flat on the floor
You heard it all when they say lightning doesn't strike twice on the same spot. Seeing no immediate shelter, you lay down as flat as you can, knowing that this makes you less likely a target for the lightning. You close your eyes, and think of Corbin Bleu.
This guy had the right idea.
moron #2 When on a moving train, do fuck around with your buddies.
Fuckin around on a train can be fun. After all, you don't always get to push your friends off the railroad track everyday. That's what happened to Truman Duncan. Whom had literally pissed on fate. He fell off a train and cut himself in half. He was conscious long enough to see his lower body parts being dragged half a mile away. That includes his kidney by the way. So I suppose he couldn't have managed to literally piss on fate. Fortunately for him, the railroad company decide to give him a more subtle desk job in the office where he can point a middle finger to every train that passes by.
Still the same ol Duncan we know!
moron #3 In case of venomous poison bite or sting, suck it out
Usually the first thing that comes into mind when you see a poisonous snake, you run. But after watching Discovery channel on how beautiful a snake can be, you decide to pick it up. Unfortunately it bit you hard. It looks to be a pretty vicious snake bite, in fact. Not willing to die stupidly like an animal in the forest you decide to "suck it out."
Steve Irwin back from the dead : idiot much?
The worst that could happen :- If you did had an open sore in or around your mouth, It seems that you have speed up the circulation of the poison and eventually, will get a nice dose of poison and investigators would probably leave your alibi to a suicide case.
Moron #4 In case of a bear attack, play dead
Probably the biggest moron you've ever met are the ones that think playing dead could save your life. They said playing dead PROBABLY can save your life. Not that it GUARANTEES it'll save your life. Being a moron that you are from being stumbled upon a 500pound man-eating bear, you would probably do a bad job in acting out a play dead scheme anyway.
Imagine that roaring at point blank face. Let's see you play dead to that.
Moron #5 When stranded at sea, drink your own piss
This tops it all. ...by dying. Funny thing about urine: Your body doesn't want it. That's why your body politely asked it to leave in the first place. More specifically, it's the salt in your pee that your body needs out. Salt dehydrates the body and by introducing more of it in recycling your urine, you'll dry up faster than Kevin Costner's career (Caution: Low flying zingers!)
Instead of squeezing juice out of your own salty balls, maybe you should hit up that glowing pond after all. Sure, you'll die that way too, but at least it's dignified; nobody will put "drank too much of his own piss" on your tombstone.
But that's like thinking you'll be good in a fight because you've watched that Ip man movie; whatever "techniques" you think you've learned are more likely to get your dumb ass killed.
Here's a couple of typical techniques we were told to do that morons actually followed :-
moron #1 In case of lightning, lie down flat on the floor
You heard it all when they say lightning doesn't strike twice on the same spot. Seeing no immediate shelter, you lay down as flat as you can, knowing that this makes you less likely a target for the lightning. You close your eyes, and think of Corbin Bleu.
This guy had the right idea.moron #2 When on a moving train, do fuck around with your buddies.
Fuckin around on a train can be fun. After all, you don't always get to push your friends off the railroad track everyday. That's what happened to Truman Duncan. Whom had literally pissed on fate. He fell off a train and cut himself in half. He was conscious long enough to see his lower body parts being dragged half a mile away. That includes his kidney by the way. So I suppose he couldn't have managed to literally piss on fate. Fortunately for him, the railroad company decide to give him a more subtle desk job in the office where he can point a middle finger to every train that passes by.
Still the same ol Duncan we know!moron #3 In case of venomous poison bite or sting, suck it out
Usually the first thing that comes into mind when you see a poisonous snake, you run. But after watching Discovery channel on how beautiful a snake can be, you decide to pick it up. Unfortunately it bit you hard. It looks to be a pretty vicious snake bite, in fact. Not willing to die stupidly like an animal in the forest you decide to "suck it out."
Steve Irwin back from the dead : idiot much?The worst that could happen :- If you did had an open sore in or around your mouth, It seems that you have speed up the circulation of the poison and eventually, will get a nice dose of poison and investigators would probably leave your alibi to a suicide case.
Moron #4 In case of a bear attack, play dead
Probably the biggest moron you've ever met are the ones that think playing dead could save your life. They said playing dead PROBABLY can save your life. Not that it GUARANTEES it'll save your life. Being a moron that you are from being stumbled upon a 500pound man-eating bear, you would probably do a bad job in acting out a play dead scheme anyway.
Imagine that roaring at point blank face. Let's see you play dead to that.Moron #5 When stranded at sea, drink your own piss
This tops it all. ...by dying. Funny thing about urine: Your body doesn't want it. That's why your body politely asked it to leave in the first place. More specifically, it's the salt in your pee that your body needs out. Salt dehydrates the body and by introducing more of it in recycling your urine, you'll dry up faster than Kevin Costner's career (Caution: Low flying zingers!)
Instead of squeezing juice out of your own salty balls, maybe you should hit up that glowing pond after all. Sure, you'll die that way too, but at least it's dignified; nobody will put "drank too much of his own piss" on your tombstone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
